You know what really bugs me?
There is this little myth that animals don’t have facial expressions.
According to some scientists (who I imagined as pale little gnomes who live in an isolated cell in the middle of Antarctica, where it’s so cold that not even POLAR BEARS or PENGUINS or BACTERIA can survive),
“animals have no capacity for emotion, feelings, expression, or attachments”.
Unfortunately, this makes Guido a true freak of nature. Because, just wait until you see this.
HUNGRY GUIDO:
To those dear scientists: This is very frightening expression indeed. And this is what I am faced with when Guido has not had enough gelato… and demands it! In fact, he lives with such a strong emotional attachment to Straciatella Gelato that he suffers massive bouts of separation anxiety when he has not had enough.
Guido has hundreds of other expressions too. Especially when confronted with THE DARK, TREACHEROUS NEIGHBERHOOD KITTY. In a span of 30 seconds he cycles through a total of six expressions.
The beginning:
Christine feels like a passionate, kindly person and decides to give Neighborhood Kitty a taste of Gelato.
Guido’s First Expression: Thoughtful
Christine would never give gelato to THE DARK SIDE would she?
Then…
Confused.
Huh? What? Who? There is TOTALLY something missing in the picture here…
Then snooty.
Well, who cares? I don’t need Christine anyways. I can get my own gelato just fine.
AND BITTER.
Seriously, this can’t be happening! I can’t believe this!
Then back to where we started:
GIVE… ME… GELATO…I’m hungry too!!!
Thus, I have successfully proven that Guido is capable of expression.
Not only is Guido able to give you hateful looks that leave you quivering with terror, but he is also able to melt you into a piteous, guilty puddle of goo when you do not follow his wishes.
Such is life with Guido.
The lesson to all the pale little gnome scientists: Get a mouse. You’ve got to see it to believe it.
Guido's Wisdom: I topi hanno sentimenti troppo ("Mice have feelings too").
